What are you avoiding and why? This is one of my favorite new coaching questions. I have been working with clients recently who feel “stuck” in some area of their lives. I think this is pretty common, we all feel stuck at some point. Yet what is curious to me is what is behind that. I have found that there are two main things that contribute to avoidance – fear and beliefs. This article will give you some ideas on how to overcome core fears and beliefs.

Let’s take an example. Client A is stuck in the financial domain. Sound familiar? He wants to balance his budgets and track his spending, but he has tried for years and just can’t seem to do it. He is stuck, and he is avoiding. Why?

During a recent coaching session we uncovered some core beliefs.

With beliefs like that, it is easy to see why someone might AVOID dealing with their money, right?

So, here are the steps to take with something you have been avoiding.

There are several ways to work with core limiting beliefs. Byron Katie has a great model that you can walk through called the Work, which has you start by asking : Is this true? You can check out her system for free on her website.

The way I am going to describe to work with your beliefs is based on Voice Dialogue. Voice Dialogue is an amazing approach to working with different parts of yourself to get clarity. Although it is really great to do a Voice Dialogue coaching session, you can also walk yourself through a mini VD Session.

Here are the short-cut steps to work with your beliefs in Voice Dialogue.

The goal in accessing the PART of you that has that belief or fear is that it is not ALL of you that holds that fear/belief. There is another part of you (that we call Aware Ego) that is more like a witness who observes. We want to make sure that part of you is also online. When we are being RUN by a fear or belief, we have let that part of us take the wheel and drive our bus!

4. Dialogue with the PART of you who has the fear or belief. In a VD session, the coach would hold the space for you and ask questions of your different selves. If you are doing this on your own, you can journal using your non-dominant hand to answer the questions from your PART that you are talking to. So, for example, I might write with my dominant hand: Can you tell me more about the belief that you have that “money is painful”? Then, put the pen in your non-dominant hand (which helps access your subconscious) and get in touch with the PART of you that you found in step 3. Let it respond, it might have a lot to say!

5. Keep dialoging with this part until you know you have a good sense of what it needs, why it is there and maybe even how you can help it feel more safe and secure. Most of these parts exist to protect us – they are our friends! Many have been around for a long time, we just haven’t identified them as a “different self.” Be sure to thank this part of yourself before you end your dialogue session.

If you are interested in having a facilitated coaching or voice dialogue coaching session, both Jeannie and Mark offer individual sessions by phone or Skype or occasionally in person in the Denver area. Give us a call! (303) 653-3097. We are passionate about how to overcome core fears and beliefs!

We have new venues and a new format for Shadow Work practice groups!

This is a fabulous time of growth. After launching our new websiteSoulActualization.com, we got busy finding a larger venue with access to more people. We are very excited to have TWO churches in Denver who have agreed to host us for upcoming programs. These are our last practice groups for 2015!

Sat. August 1 from 9am-1pm     This group is FULL

We completed our Shadow Work Leader Training in June! What a wild ride!

This has been a three-year process for us with a lot of time, money and energy going into this. We are grateful to be almost certified, and need your help to pull it off! The regular cost for a SW weekend is around $400. We are offering this early-bird discount for $295 until September 1. After that it is $345.  We have space for 6 more people in the weekend.

If you are interested, please contact us right away to reserve your spot. We will send out more details as the date approaches, but it is Friday evening, all day Saturday and Sunday until 3pm.

This will be a weekend full of Shadow Work visualizations, group exercises and center work processes. At least 6 people will have an opportunity to do a center work process. Also, it has been our experience that holding the space of the container and playing parts for others is also healing and nurturing. We will be offering several visualizations and meditations on Friday night to ground us in the energy of the four archetypes: Sovereign, Magician, Lover and Warrior.

It is a great opportunity to do this work in community, as we believe that

Mark Daly, JD, and Jeannie Gunter, MA, have trained with Cliff Barry through the Advanced Facilitator Shadow Work Training and Leader Training. We have created a co-ed, monthly group to ongoingly practice doing our Shadow Work together.

This is a great opportunity if you have a partner who might be interested in the work as it is a co-ed container. We have really loved doing this work together as a couple as a way to support and deepen our relationship. Of course individuals are welcome as well.

Our experience is that even if it is not your turn to do a piece of center work, there is a lot to be gained from being in the container, playing parts for others, and witnessing the process.

 

We hope that you can join us and see if the group is a good fit for you! It is not necessary to have experience with Shadow Work to attend the practice group. What is helpful is to have done enough of your own personal growth work that you are ready to experience work In this type of symbolic container. 

 

If you are uncertain whether this is the right container for you, please reach out to us – we are happy to have a conversation with you!

 

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